Talk:Guard/@comment-36488374-20180808004504

So if the guard is "loyal to whom of which no one knows" and also a "sworn protector of the King" are they not loyal to the King? If so that raises a lot of questions about the King's leadership. I told him he should have scrapped the Taco Tuesday gimmick in favor of Salad Sunday but he didn't listen. Guess he learned a valuable lesson though when the rival kingdom raided his castle and his guards were too loaded with taco meat to fight. I heard them complaining about how they felt like their stomachs were full of lead but then they were filled with the cold steel of the Mountain Kingdoms' blades. My level 115 staff carried the King's fat butt during that fight though. I summoned a ferocious army of War Mandrills and led a ragtag band of the King's vegetarian soldiers to an improbable victory, thus securing my place in history as one of the best generals of all time. That little rat the King though still had the nerve to sentence me to death for treason. Something dumb like "Catapulting my best men into enemy ranks after lighting them on fire, all the while shouting hasta la vista" so in the end I just popped a force field around myself and leveled his whole kingdom. Really it was quite a shame but I got over it eventually because a few days later I received a TOTALLY COOL loot crate from https://www.lootcrate.com/crates/gaming ! Lootcrate.com is a service where you pay a subscription and you are periodically shipped boxes full of themed clothing, gear, and collectibles related to gaming. The theme changes every month so you always get fresh stuff! Simply choose a subscription length, pay for your subscription, and forget about it. Then, once a month, a box full of epic gaming merchandise will show up at your door! If you or someone you know is a gamer, geek, or nerd, a Lootcrate subscription would be the perfect treat.